Professional Purgatory

I may not have a job at the end of the year. Lovely. 

Friday afternoon, our team's executive manager pulled us all into the office for an emergency meeting and let us know that our company has hired a third party business to "re-evaluate our operations and structure". Wait, huh?! What does that mean? Well, we're not exactly sure yet, but I have two ideas:

  1. Ideal Situation: Given our company's rapid growth, they're going to try and streamline operations and connect us more with Global. We get to keep our jobs and just report to a longer chain of command. Riiiiight.
  2. Probable Outcome: This third party is going to evaluate things across the country and tell our Global leadership what the "ideal regional team structure" looks like-- basically, the minimum amount of people they need to keep the company going. Citing "global financial cut-backs", our company eliminates many of our jobs. 

I moved to another city this past April for this job in the hopes of furthering my career. It was a lateral move, so they awarded me relocation support, which helped, and I love my team. I don't want things to change. These are good people and I don't want to see any of them go... okay, I'm starting to freak out. [deep breaths] It's pointless to panic, especially since we're told we won't have any additional information until October. In the meantime, this third party company is going to be setting up interviews with different people throughout the regions (I assume to ask who's job is necessary and who's isn't. Sounds like an invitation for coworkers to throw each other under the bus in order to save their own job. Yikes!). Whichever the case, we've been asked to fully cooperate if we're selected for one of these random interviews... and wait. 

I'm torn. Do I scramble to find "higher ground" within the company? Do I wait to see the outcome and hope for the best? Or do I say "screw this" and start building a new career outside the company? While we're told that the company will be taking measures to provide additional opportunities for people who have been "displaced", it's not a guarantee. There's a high likelihood that many qualified people will be competing against each other for only a few coveted positions. I don't want to find myself without a job right before Christmas. Shit.

I didn't have much time to process all this on Friday since I was knee-deep in plans to help my Mother in Law host a wedding shower for some family friends. It was a stressful-yet-rewarding experience and I think everyone had a great time-- I'd venture to call it a resounding success, thank goodness! We returned home last night and I've only now had time to start processing everything.

After the long drive back to our own city last night, I decided to slog away on my Kingdom Death Twilight Knight pinup. I couldn't paint. My hands were shaking and I think I'd shoved too much nervous energy deep down inside me and now that I was home, it started to pour out. My eyes wouldn't focus and my shoulders just ached. I had to redo several parts of the miniature due to lack of brush control. I was a mess. I gave up a little over an hour in and thought about the future. Should I try to go into freelance miniature painting? Do we have enough money saved up? What about quarterly taxes? Could I gather clients that quickly? Am I even good enough? I gave in and cheated on my "30 days of clean eating" and had a glass of Pinot Noir (or three). I distracted myself by listening to an audiobook and decided to write a post about my "Should I try to do this as more than a hobby?" thoughts on Thursday. In the meantime, here's what I was able to force out last night, despite being a nervous wreck. Once I finish the back of her sword, I can finally attach her cape & head! 

I can't wait to work on her skin-- since she's a pinup, I'll need to give some extra-attention to her, um, sexier features. I found a great artist on Instagram-- ReJean DuBois who resides in Tokyo. I'm inspired by his black & white rendering inspired by the 1890's Gibson Girls. I'm going to use this as a reference when painting highlights on her breasts. The immature kid in me is still giggling. I picked out an artist boob reference. Beeeeewbs. Okay, okay, I'll stop. Until next time!